“The early Latin writer, Tertullian of Carthage, declared that the one thing that converted him to Christianity was not the arguments they gave him, because he could find a counterpoint for every argument they would present. But they demonstrated something I didn’t have. The thing that converted me to Christianity was the way they loved each other.”[1] John 13:35 says, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Love is a very powerful force. Over the centuries mankind has done the most extreme and strangest of things because of love. You may not be that talented or good looking, but if you have love, you have everything. Over the years in most every church I have served in, I was involved in building and leading ministry to children and youth. I have never been that cool dude that young people are attracted to. Certainly, in today’s culture I would not fit the bill of a dynamic attractive youth guy. Yet, everywhere I have been I have seen God work in amazing ways, not because I was talented or impressive or even wise, but because of the love of God. You see, it is the love of God that compels. The greatest witness and testimony of all is Christian love. Sadly, in many churches there is a gross lack of such love. We may say we love one another, but our actions speak otherwise. Paul encouraged the Thessalonian church to continue in what they were known for, and that was their love for one another. He encouraged them to abound in love more and more. How do we abound in such love? How can we be known for our love even when we find ourselves knee deep in our personal messes and squabbles? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives a clear description of what it looks like to walk in love.
Walking in love is to live with patience. One of the biggest mistakes we often make is when we jump to conclusions or make assumptions or make rash decisions or expect too much from others. It needs to be understood that God made us all with different personalities. We all have different backgrounds and experiences and different ways of looking at things. We are also all on different levels spiritually. Therefore, to walk in love amongst ourselves we must be patient with one another. I have personally struggled with patience over the years. When things did not proceed as quickly as I wanted or there are those who become thorns in my side and they are slow to get where I want them to be, I would get frustrated and distracted. However, I am learning more and more to relax and take my time and focus on the things that matter most. We don’t have to do everything overnight. Instant success or gratification can often be unproductive. For example, as a Pastor, I have a strong desire to see the church grow. I have a huge vision of where I would like to take the church as I lead. However, if the church grew by the hundreds overnight, it would create a nightmare scenario of trying to get to know people and build relationships. A strong healthy church is one that experiences a steady and gradual growth pattern that focuses on developing strong mature believers who make a lasting impact on the world. Therefore, patience is the key. If I get impatient, I will make poor decisions and find myself acting toward others in an unloving way. To walk in love is to live with patience. It’s when we get impatient with each other that we make mistakes that can be detrimental to the church. If we truly love one another, we love each other enough to relax and be patient with each other.
Walking in love presents oneself with kindness. Someone who has the love of God in them will demonstrate that love in their kindness toward others. Matthew Henry said concerning love, “She is ready to show favors and to do good. She seeks to be useful; and not only seizes on opportunities of doing good, but searches for them. This is her general character.”[2] Do you purposefully look for ways to show kindness to others? Often we will wait until an opportunity is forced upon us and we reluctantly show kindness to someone. We get caught up in our busy lives that we overlook those around us. As believers, we should be aware of those around us and actively pursue people to show kindness to. It is not just acts of kindness, but we should also display an attitude of kindness. There is nothing more precious than someone who has a kind demeanor about them. A kind person is contagious. A kind person brightens the day of all who cross their path.
Walking in love is to live without envy. Envy takes on many different shapes. It includes: malice, holding a grudge, jealousy, an evil eye, among others. Envy is a poison that destroys relationships. People can be envious of many things. One area that envy will often get a foot hold in the church is being envious of positions or power. There is a fable that Satan’s agents were failing in their various attempts to draw into sin a holy man who lived as a hermit in the desert of northern Africa. Every attempt had met with failure; so Satan, angered with the incompetence of his subordinates, became personally involved in the case. He said, “The reason you have failed is that your methods are too crude for one such as this. Watch this. ”He then approached the holy man with great care and whispered softly in his ear, “Your brother has just been made Bishop of Alexandria.” Instantly the holy man’s face showed that Satan had been successful: a great scowl formed over his mouth and his eyes tightened up. “Envy,” said Satan, “is often our best weapon against those who seek holiness.”[3] The desire for position and control will destroy a church and is detrimental to its testimony in the world. If the love of Christ fills our hearts we will not be envious of one another, rather we will be glad when good comes to our brothers and sisters.
Walking in love is not self-promoting. To be self-promoting is to be prideful or puffed up. It is to vaunt or boast oneself. A self-promoting person is one who is constantly bragging about themselves and what they have accomplished. One who is walking in love will not behave in such a way. Wiersbe says, “There is a graciousness about the person who acts from Christian love, a charm that the world cannot give. True love seeks only the good of others; it is unselfish.”[4] This is how Jesus lived. He was selfless. What about you? Do you seek only the good of others? Are you considered as a gracious person? Or do you find yourself putting yourself first and working to advance yourself rather than lift up others?
Walking in love does not behave ungodly or in a filthy manner. The KJV says that love does not behave itself unseemly. The NKJV says that love does not behave rudely. The HCSB says that love does not act improperly. The NASB says that love does not act unbecomingly. Those who walk in love are those who live in purity. They have an inner beauty. Have you ever met someone who was so pure and innocent? They are beautiful. They have a certain glow about them. Compare that to someone who is rude and mean and crude. Let’s be honest, such people are ugly. There is no beauty in them at all. No one wants to be around someone who behaves in a filthy and ungodly manner.
Walking in love is not self-seeking. To be self-seeking is simply to be selfish. It is to put your desires and wants ahead of others. Such an attitude is the exact opposite of how God wants us to live. Philippians 2:4 says, “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” The Bible Knowledge Commentary says, “There can be no joy in the life of the Christian who puts himself above others.”[5] The key to unity and love in the church is selflessness and self-sacrifice. All problems and conflict we encounter in life and in the church stems from selfishness. However, those who walk in love are not selfish. Those who walk in love will humbly put others ahead of themselves.
Walking in love is slow to anger. The scripture says that love is not easily provoked or angered. Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 provided a contrast between how the Corinthian believers were living and how they should live. In chapter 6, Paul mentions how believers should not take each other before a court of law. They should handle their differences amongst themselves. The Bible Knowledge Commentary says, “People who are not easily angered usually do not start lawsuits.”[6] Paul encouraged the church at Thessalonica to abound in love. You may get angry with someone you love especially when they behave in a disappointing way. However, if you really love them, you will not lash out in anger. You will not allow your anger to get the best of you and cause you to say or do something that would bring hurt to the one you love. Your love for them should drive you to help them, not to hurt them. Therefore, the more we are together, the more we engage with one another, and the more we grow in our love; the more patient and gracious and less angry we will be toward one another.
Walking in love does not assume or promote evil. As we walk in love we will not automatically assume the worst in each other. The Christian Standard Version says love “does not keep a record of wrongs.” Have you ever met someone that wears things on their sleeve? They can never let things go. They may say they forgive someone, but they never forget. Their view of someone is often skewed because of some past issue that they just can’t let go of. If your walking in love, you will not be that way. You will not keep a record of someone’s wrongs and continually hold it against them. You will also not make assumptions. I have dealt with many people over the years that have a tendency to always assume something was wrong. For whatever reason, they cannot seem to trust anyone and they are constantly looking for something to be wrong or evil. If your walking in love, you will be so focused on what is pure and right that the last thing you do is to think evil of someone. Walking in love is to assume good and not evil.
Walking in love does not rejoice in sin. Have you ever secretly rejoiced or was glad when someone you don’t like is caught in some sin or failure? The Pulpit Commentary says, “The rejoicing at sin, the taking pleasure in them that commit sin, the exultation over the fall of others into sin, are among the worst forms of malignity (Rom. 1:32; 2 Thess. 2:12).”[7] Romans 1:32 says, “Although they know full well God’s just sentence—that those who practice such things deserve to die —they not only do them, but even applaud others who practice them.”[8]Taking pleasure in the sins of others is in itself most sinful. Ephesians 5:11-12 says, “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.”[9]Taken literally: ‘we should not even talk about the sinful practices of others’. Putting it another way: we should not be entertained by evil’. Too often we entertain ourselves with the evil practices of others via movies and various forms of media. This ought not be in the life of a believer and it is certainly not becoming of someone who is walking in love.
Walking in love rejoices in the truth. The opposite of rejoicing in sin is to rejoice in truth. This is to be overwhelmingly glad when our brother or sister in Christ is growing in their faith and accomplishing great things for the glory of God. Those who walk in love will focus on the positive. They will not be infatuated with negative things. Have you ever met someone who is always focused on the negative rather than the positive? They are constantly looking for something to be wrong and seems to enjoy voicing a complaint. Those who are walking in love will constantly and consistently focus on the positive. They will celebrate the good that God is doing in someone’s life and they will rejoice in good things that God is doing. They constantly highlight the positive rather than promoting the negative.
Walking in love puts up with each other. The scripture says that love ‘bears all things.’ This means that those who walk in love will bear with or put up with one another. It is to ‘pass by’ or put up with injury. When someone wrongs or opposes you or disagrees with you, do you become defensive and lash out in anger? Someone who is walking in love will not behave in such a manner. He or she will put up with the offenses of others and will love them regardless. Matthew Henry wrote, “What a fortitude and firmness fervent love will give the mind! What cannot a lover endure for the beloved and for his sake! How many slights and injuries will he put up with! How many hazards will he run and how many difficulties encounter!”[10]
Walking in love believes all things. The Jamieson and Brown Commentary says that believing all things means one who “unsuspiciously believes all that is not palpably false, all that it can with a good conscience believe to the credit of another.”[11] Often to my demise, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Many times I have been burned by trusting others. However, trusting and believing others is the way of love. Don’t just automatically assume that someone has ulterior motives. If you really love someone, you will give them the benefit of trust.
Walking in love is full of hope. To have hope is to have confidence. When it comes to loving others, hope is to have confidence in others. It is to expect the best. Loving someone requires maintaining a measure of optimism on that person’s behalf. “Hope is an attitude that good will eventually come to those who may now be failing. Failure invades every Christian’s life, and it often causes others to give up on the one who fails. Yet, Christians who love continue to hope for the best. This optimism encourages others to keep moving forward. This hope is based not on the Christian, but on Christ. The hope of each Christian is that Christ will preserve him to glory.”[12] Our hope should be in Christ and our hope should be for each other. When you love someone you will always expect the best for that person. You will live with optimism, always believing that the best is yet to come.
Walking in love endures all things. Love will stand the test of time. This how the world is able to see the difference in us. It is when we remain faithful to the Lord and to each other. To endure all things is to not give up. When we give up on each other, we have failed to love. Real Christian love will endure; it will stand the test of time.
Walking in love never fails. Richard Pratt Jr. says, “Loving someone is easy when the other person does not challenge one’s affections by offending or failing. Love’s quality becomes evident when it must endure trials. The New Testament encourages Christians to persevere in their Christian walks (1 John 5:2–5). Here Paul had in mind particularly the need to persevere in love for others. Christians should look to the length and perseverance of Christ’s love as the standard for their own.”[13] Think about that. The standard of enduring love is set for us by Christ. If Jesus loves us unconditionally and forever, should we not love each other in the household of God unconditionally and forever?
As Tertullian came to faith as a result of the testimony of Christian love, so the world must see our love for one another. The most powerful weapon in the evangelistic arsenal of the believer is our love for one another. Never underestimate the power of love.
[1] Jones, G. C. (1986). 1000 illustrations for preaching and teaching (p. 220). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[2] Henry, M. (1994). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible: complete and unabridged in one volume (p. 2268). Hendrickson.
[3] Michael P. Green. (2000). 1500 illustrations for biblical preaching (p. 121). Baker Books.
[4] Wiersbe, W. W. (1992). Wiersbe’s expository outlines on the New Testament (p. 458). Victor Books.
[5] Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 2, p. 73). Victor Books.
[6] Lowery, D. K. (1985). 1 Corinthians. In J. F. Walvoord & R. B. Zuck (Eds.), The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures (Vol. 2, p. 535). Victor Books.
[7] Spence-Jones, H. D. M., ed. (1909). 1 Corinthians (p. 424). Funk & Wagnalls Company.
[8] The Holy Bible: Holman Christian standard version. (Ro 1:32). (2009). Holman Bible Publishers.
[9] The New King James Version (Eph 5:11–12). (1982). Thomas Nelson.
[10] Henry, M. (1994). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible: complete and unabridged in one volume (p. 2268). Hendrickson.
[11] Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (1997). Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (Vol. 2, p. 289). Logos Research Systems, Inc.
[12] Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians (Vol. 7, pp. 232–233). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[13] Pratt, R. L., Jr. (2000). I & II Corinthians (Vol. 7, p. 233). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
Pastor Chris Noland 