I have served in full-time ministry all of my adult life and grew up in a pastor’s home. There are many things that I have experienced, witnessed, and learned over the years. One interesting thing that has always dumbfounded me is that most problems that a church faces very seldom originate from attacks outside the church. In my experience, most every issue I’ve had to deal with originated with church members. This is certainly unfortunate since we are called to unity and love. Many churches have lost their way and have lost sight of their mission because of disunity in the church primarily caused by selfish pettiness. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all, just simply stating a well-known fact. Even with all the things I often must put up with as a pastor, I am thankful that God called me into the work of the ministry. I believe that being a pastor is the greatest calling known to man and I am very honored to have served in this capacity for over 20 years and I have every intention to be faithful as a pastor until God calls me home. However, I often wonder just how much a church can accomplish for the Kingdom of God if we did not have to deal with problems amongst ourselves. Yet, we are sinful humanity, and wherever you have people, you have problems.

                Of all the things I have dealt with over the years in ministry, there is one thing I find most disturbing. This one thing is often the root cause of many problems in the church. Most problems in the church are not really problems at all. However, we are notorious for making a mountain out of a mole hill and creating a crisis where there is none. This root cause of most church problems (besides pride and sin) is ‘assumptions.’ I cannot tell you the number of times my heart has been broken over people that make rash decisions and cast judgement based on assumption rather than truth. Unfortunately, there are times when one may not want to know the truth because they are so wrapped up in personalities and personal agendas. Making assumptions can be very dangerous and bring a lot of harm to people that you love. I am sure that you too have been hurt by people that made a judgement based on something they assumed rather than on the truth. The thing that hurts more than anything is when an entire narrative is written that harms the church for years based on one person’s assumption. So, how do we avoid making assumptions? How do we guard ourselves from hindering the cause of Christ in the church and in the community because of assumptions we make? Allow me to share with you several principles to avoid the danger of assumptions.

1. Pay attention to context.

It can be very frustrating when your words are taken out of context. We all have certain presuppositions. Some are good, others are harmful. Based on our presuppositions, we will often hear things the way we want to hear them, and then we make an assumption based on how we interpreted what we heard, then we share that with others which starts a chain reaction of deceit and misinformation. We should be careful to not purposely or inadvertently take someone’s words out of context. Sometimes, what one person says is misunderstood. Therefore, when in doubt, always ask. Never come to a conclusion and make a judgment until you know for certain what someone meant by what they said. When you are surprised or unclear or troubled by what you heard, go to that person and ask them what they meant and give them the opportunity to explain what they said in the context of what they were trying to communicate. Whatever you do, don’t go to other people, go straight to the source.

• Look through the lenses of positivity.

Too often we assume the worse. We are much more quick to see the negative than the positive. We must learn to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Never assume the worse about someone. You may not like what they said or what they did, but that does not automatically mean that they are up to no good. By the way, in the whole scheme of things, life is not all bad. We are so very blessed. Lighten up. Don’t take life so seriously. Relax. Have fun. Stay positive.

• Don’t let the past control your thinking.

People are people. We are sinners and we make dumb mistakes. If you put any two people in a room for a period of time, eventually there will be a disagreement or some type of conflict. We are all guilty of doing and saying stupid things that we regret. We have all hurt someone at some time. We have all been hurt by others. We have all been misunderstood and we have all misunderstood others. I say this with all love and respect, but here is the thing: Get over it! You cannot let past squabbles affect your thinking or perception of others. Granted, if it’s something major like physical or sexual abuse, that’s a whole different story. However, in the setting of your family and the church, you cannot allow issues from the past skew your current perspective. Nothing will kill a church faster than people that hold grudges and will not let go of the past. Therefore, don’t make assumptions based on your experience with someone in the past. Always think the best of people and never assume there is something malicious taking place.

• See the whole picture.

Many of the problems that arise in churches come from having a narrow or targeted view. Often we will look at what is right in front of us and make judgement based on what we see in the moment and on past experiences. Instead of just assuming, we should take a step back and look at the whole picture. For example, years ago at the first church I pastored we realized that our youth ministry was very shallow. The teenagers were not growing spiritually. Being a church with limited staff and resources I decided to use a curriculum for the youth ministry that was very user friendly for leaders but was very doctrinally sound and challenging for the teens. However, the curriculum was not ‘Southern Baptist.’ Several key folks in the church who had absolutely no dealings with the youth ministry (no skin in the game) got all up in arms claiming that I was trying to make the church ‘independent’. Instead of seeing the whole picture and realizing our teens needed a more substantial spiritual diet, these few folks made an assumption that I wanted to take the church out of being ‘Southern Baptist.’ As a result, I was distracted from focusing on real ministry in order to deal with such rumors. The lesson learned is to never make quick assumptions, especially when you have not seen the whole picture.

• Keep your assumptions to yourself and go up not out.

When you see or hear something or a decision in the church has been made and you have a thought that something is not right, keep your assumption to yourself. Take a step back, pray, look at the whole picture, and go up not out. Meaning: don’t talk out to other people, go straight to the top. To put it bluntly, go to the pastor. Nine times out of ten, the pastor can give you clarification that will satisfy your concerns. When you go out to other people, it creates a chain reaction where assumptions are made, a false narrative is written, and before you know it, great harm comes to the church because of an assumption you made. There is always more to the story. The pastor and pastoral staff are on the inside. They are at the church throughout the week. They know the ends and outs. They know why certain things happen and what led to those things happening. The senior pastor especially, is on the inside track of all the decisions and daily workings of the church. But, what about you? You work a job outside the church. You are not at the church every day. You do not know every discussion and meeting and circumstance, etc. Therefore, before making an assumption and risk spreading misinformation, go and talk to you pastor. However, keep in mind, the pastor cannot always tell you everything. He may be dealing with someone or something and is not free to share information. This where trust comes in. Has the pastor given you a reason not to trust him? Has he preached false doctrine? Has he done something immoral? If not, then trust your pastor, especially when there is certain information that he is not free to share.

• Focus on the mission.

THE MISSION MATTERS MOST! Satan would love to get you distracted and discouraged with ‘he said, she said’, personality clashes, assumptions, etc. Do not let Satan win. Focus on what matters most. When you think there is some big problem in the church, ask yourself some simple questions. (1) Does the pastor faithfully preach the Bible? If so, be thankful, for that is not the norm in most churches. (2) Are there people being saved and baptized? If so, rejoice! God is doing something! (3) Do you see new members added regularly? If so, things can’t be all that bad. (4) Do you see efforts being made to improve the church in certain areas, etc.? If so, be thankful you have a pastor that is leading the church forward. The mission of the church is to reach the lost, disciple believers, train and equip the saints, and send people out on mission. When this is happening, you have a healthy church for which you should be proud of. Guard the mission with all your heart. Do not get sidetracked and do not allow others to get you to lose your focus on the mission.

                Nothing can hinder the cause of Christ more than when church members make assumptions and act on those assumptions. Focus on the truth. Focus on the positive. Focus on what God is doing. When you do have a question or something you are not sure of, talk to your pastor to get clarification. Most of all, PRAY. Pray for your church. Pray for your pastor. Pray for the community. Focus on reaching the lost. Focus on inviting others to church. Focus on doing your part to make the church conducive for growth. Focus on Jesus and advancing His Kingdom and guard yourself from the dangers of assumption.