Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Relationships can often be a sticky subject. We all have relationship issues from time to time. We have experienced thriving relationships and we have experienced broken relationships. When it comes to being a good steward of our relationships, there are several principles to consider.

                We are made for relationships. In Genesis 2:20 we see Adam, the first man, being lonely without anyone like him. This is when God put Adam into a deep sleep and formed a woman from one of Adam’s ribs. Verses 24-25 of Genesis chapter 2 describes the wonderful relationship that man and woman has in marriage. The truth of the matter is that we were not created to be alone. We were made for relationships. You and I were not meant to be alone. God created us to be relational. We are made to have a relationship with God and with each other.

                Relationships are to be Gospel-centered. All of our relationships, whether family and friends or co-workers and acquaintances, should revolve around the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is the foundation of everything. As believers we are to not only know the Gospel, but we are to live out the Gospel in our daily lives. The Gospel changes us. It changes our worldview. It changes our attitude. It changes how we relate to others. If your life is centered on the Gospel of Jesus, your relationship with others will be much sweeter. What does a Gospel-centered relationship look like? Ephesians 4:21-32 describes a Gospel-centered relationship. The Gospel changes everything. It changes your attitude. It changes your outlook on life. It changes how you respond and relate to others. It is difficult to be unkind to someone when the relationship is Gospel-centered. Let the Gospel change you. Let the Gospel define and determine your behavior. Gospel-centered relationships are relationships that thrive.

                Relationships begin by pursuing Jesus. When I counsel with couples who are struggling in their marriage I often will tell them that you cannot change each other. You cannot make your spouse be the perfect Christian spouse. You cannot make them what you want them to be. It is only in a relationship with Jesus that we are changed. When it comes to good relationships, the focus needs to be on each individual’s relationship with Jesus. You cannot do anything about the other person, but you can do something about yourself. You can be committed to daily Bible reading and prayer. You can be committed to church attendance. You can be kind even when the other person is not. You can have a good attitude even when others do not. You can choose to do the right thing even when others do not. You can choose to never raise your voice or lash out in anger even when others do not. Such gracious living comes from a pursuit of Jesus. The closer you are to Jesus the better your attitude will be. The closer you are to Jesus the more loving and forgiving you will be. Such God-honoring behavior that comes from pursuing Jesus can be contagious. It will rub off on other people. Pursue Jesus and everything else will fall into place.

                Relationships should be characterized by love and forgiveness. Luke 6:37 says, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” Too often we are quick to point out the faults in others. We are quick to condemn. The only one who condemns is God. Condemnation is found at the cross. That is where are sins are judged. It is not our job to condemn others. Yes, we should practice Godly accountability and loving exhortation, but we should never condemn. Unconditional love and forgiveness is the key to a healthy relationship. I am afraid that we misunderstand forgiveness. I have heard people say that they forgive but their actions and attitude demonstrate unforgiveness. To truly forgive someone is to never bring it up again. It is to treat the person who hurt you the same as you did before they hurt you. You cannot say you have forgiven someone and never greet them. You cannot say you have forgiven someone and never talk to them. You cannot say you have forgiven someone and never recognize them or share a smile. You cannot say you have forgiven someone and never show kindness and love toward them. Several years ago there was a man in a church I pastored that for reasons unknown to me was against everything I did. I could never make him happy. He talked about me. He spread misinformation and lies about me. He even made veil threats toward me. He was a thorn in my side. Yet, as his pastor, I was there every time he was in the hospital. I was there when his daughter died. I was there when his wife died. I visited him in his home often. There were times when he would raise his voice and chew me out. There were times when he made false accusations against me. But, I forgave him. I did not hold his actions against him and I still showed love toward him. His actions toward me never changed or affected my treatment of him. That’s forgiveness. That’s what it means. What good does it do to hold a grudge? What good does it do to treat others badly no matter how bad they treat me? What does it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Why should I destroy myself and burn bridges by reacting to how others treat me? Just love them. Never change. Treat them the same no matter what. Forgive them. We must learn to forgive and we must learn what forgiveness is. Being a good steward of our relationships require a heart of love and forgiveness.

                Relationships should continue with loyalty. Loyalty is something that is missing in our world today. There is a lack of loyalty in the home. There is lack of loyalty on the job. There is a lack of loyalty in sports. I think of college athletics. It used to be that athletes would go to the school in their state and was loyal to that school. They played for their team. Now athletes go where the money is. There is no loyalty. It is just how they can get the most for themselves. We live in a very selfish society where everyone is looking out for themselves with no regard for others. This is not how Christians should live. We should be people who are committed and trustworthy. We should be people who are loyal. The greatest example of loyalty in the scriptures is the loyalty that Jesus had to the Father. He was all about the Father’s will. He was faithful all the way to the cross. Jesus was loyal to God’s redemptive plan. We should demonstrate the same loyalty in our relationship with others. We should be committed and devoted. Unfortunately, we have a tendency to give up on each other too soon. A true friend will stick with you through the good and the bad. A true friend is one you can count on. Such friends are hard to come by these days. Being a good steward of your relationships requires a sense of loyalty.

                How would you measure your relationships? Are you a good steward of those relationships?